


more than he loves the stars

by Bellakitse



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex Manes Loves Michael Guerin, Alien Technology, Boys In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of child neglect, Michael Guerin Loves Alex Manes, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 08:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21317107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellakitse/pseuds/Bellakitse
Summary: Michael shows Alex the pods and shows him everything he feels.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 31
Kudos: 183





	more than he loves the stars

**Author's Note:**

> anon prompt #10- “I’m so in love with her/him, I don’t know what to do.”

They sit in the dim-lit corner of an authentic Mexican restaurant on Main street. It’s the 3rd time this month that they’ve had dinner there, because Michael is obsessed with their enchiladas, while Alex is a fan of their pozole. Their usual waitress; an older lady who they know is also one of the owners, leaves them alone after serving them, always with a smile on her face as she tells them how sweet they are in Spanish, it always makes Alex smile bashfully as he looks at him before telling her thank you.

They’ve been doing this_, dating_ for a little over two months now, after years of loving each other but not being together, and then months of being so disconnected neither thought they could ever be with each other again. Somehow, someway they’ve managed to find each other again. Their need for each other stronger than the chaos trying to keep them apart.

It’s a lowkey kind of date, just dinner out in the world where they can be seen, fear no longer having a place in their lives. For two people that have never done this before, it feels like everything.

They catch up on each other’s day like they haven’t been texting and talking through the day before meeting up.

Michael tells him about a car that is giving him trouble, while Alex talks about the latest batch of baby airmen at the base who think they know better than anyone. He grins as Alex tells him, how quickly he dissuaded them of that notion.

“I would have liked to have seen that; you being all authoritarian barking out orders, I bet it was really hot,” Michael teases, smirking when Alex scoffs, though he spots a hint of pink around Alex’s neck. It sends a spike of lust through Michael that he has to temper down. They’re taking it slow and avoiding old habits. So sex, for now, is off the table, no matter how much he misses being with Alex in that way.

“Guerin?” Alex questions, pulling Michael out of his thoughts, he blinks a few times and sees the concerned look Alex is giving him.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

Alex looks at him, curious, and he smiles at him to reassure him.

“I asked if you have plans for tomorrow,” Alex repeats, giving him a soft smile. “It’s the weekend, and I’m not needed at the base.”

“Oh,” Michael starts, smiling at Alex, a warm feeling spreading through him, and he wonders if the pleasure he feels knowing Alex wants to spend time with him is ever going to lessen. He doesn’t think so. “I had planned to go to the caves,” he says quietly, looking around to make sure no one is close enough to overhear him. “I need some new samples from the pods, but I can do that later. Do you want to do something?”

Alex studies him silently, nothing about his posture changes, his expression is the same, yet Michael can instantly pick up on the sudden nervous energy Alex is giving out. He watches as Alex looks away from him, biting down on his lip, and Michael recognizes Alex’s _‘wants to ask but isn’t sure he should’ _face.

Michael doesn’t say anything and gives him an encouraging look, with Alex, it’s best to let him go at his own pace.

“Can I go with you to the caves?” Alex asks, just as quiet as Michael was before, but something tells him that it isn’t Alex being discrete, and instead, he's shy. “I’ve never seen _them.”_

Michael sits up straight at the request.

It’s true, Alex knows so much about him, both because Michael has told him everything at this point, but also because Alex has spent the better part of a year finding everything he can on the crash and his family’s involvement afterward; in an effort to destroy everything his father has created, but he’s never actually been out to the caves, he’s never seen the pods.

“You want to?” Michael asks, his heart ticking up for some reason, the pods are so personal to him and his siblings.

“Yes,” Alex blurts out quickly, turning pink at his outburst. He clears his throat before speaking again in a low voice once more. “They’re a part of you. I would love to see them if that’s okay with you.”

Michael swallows hard at Alex's words, feeling just how much he means them. Alex is the only person he's always wanted to know him completely and without secrets. He realizes now that Alex has asked, just how much he wants Alex to see this part of him too, even as he feels a trickle of fear that is always with him when it comes to exposing this part of himself.

The bright smile Alex gives him as he nods in agreement, eases his fear.

***

Michael doesn't know who is more nervous as he parks his truck as close to the caves as he can, him or Alex, but they both seem to be vibrating with excess energy. They make their way slowly to the caves, Alex, with his cane to make it easier to walk on uneven terrain, while Michael carries his sample case.

He leads the way into the cave, Alex a few steps behind him.

He hears a gasp when the pods come into view and turns around to find that Alex has come to a stop, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. He doesn't say anything and just watches as Alex starts to make his way down the small path, getting closer to the pods and heads for the one on the left.

He studies it quietly, and Michael holds his breath as Alex lifts his hand to it, stopping inches away from it to look back at Michael.

He nods at Alex's silent request, his heart racing behind his ribcage at the smile Alex gives the pod.

"This one is yours," he murmurs, sure in his belief, and Michael closes the distance to join him, putting his case by his feet.

"How do you know?" he questions, not yet answering that yes, it is his pod. He stares at Alex's hand as he caresses the thing, the pod lighting up where he touches, and Michael feels it on his skin.

"It feels like you," Alex says after a moment, his brow pinched like he’s trying to figure it out. "I don't know how to explain it, but I touch it, and it's you."

"_Yeah,_ this one is mine, " Michael answers softly, and Alex looks at him, pleased. The light of the pod illuminates his face, and Michael thinks he's never looked more beautiful or that he’s ever loved Alex more, when he didn’t think it was possible.

_'I'm so in love with him. I don't know what to do with myself.'_

Alex gasps, and for a moment, Michael thinks he’s said it out loud, but Alex is looking at the pod in wonderment.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Alex whispers, there is a sheen to his eyes, but also the softest smile on his face. "It just felt really warm and…_loving_? I don't know how to explain it."

Michael looks at the pod and wonders. "We think we’re still connected to them in some way. It can project our feelings.”

“Your feelings?” Alex looks at him, a look that tells Michael he’s trying to keep from being too hopeful. For someone who has always been a closed book, Alex is easy to read now, and it’s that hope he sees in his eyes, mixed with fear and love that pushes Michael forward.

He closes his eyes and thinks about Alex, he thinks about the first time he stayed in the shed and their almost kiss, he thinks about their actual kiss at the museum, the first time they made love and every time after that. He thinks about ten years of loving Alex Manes more than he loves the stars. When he opens his eyes, Alex is crying silently.

He moves forward, but Alex is quicker, he stops touching the pod and slams into Michael, his arms around his torso, clinging to him. Michael returns the hug, holding him just as tightly as Alex cries into his shoulder, his body shaking. By the time Alex quiets down, there are tears in Michael’s eyes.

“I wasn’t loved,” Alex whispers, pulling back to look at Michael, but not stepping out of his hold, his eyes red from crying. “My mother didn’t love me enough to stay, my dad couldn’t stand me, and my brothers followed their lead. I wasn’t loved, but then you came along, and I knew you loved me.”

“I did,” Michael answers, the tears in his eyes falling for them, but mostly for Alex, and the life he was given. “I do.”

“I know,” Alex answers giving him a watery smile before looking back at the pod. “I just didn’t know how much until now. Thank you, Michael, thank you for showing me, for loving me, _still_, after everything we’ve been through, and even though I don’t have a pod to show you like you just showed me. I need you to know I love you exactly the same way. I never stopped and I never will.”

Michael lets out a breath, not realizing until now just how much he needed to hear Alex say it. He leans in, presses his forehead against Alex, and whispers the words once more.

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to beka for the quick read and encouragement!! come say hello and gush about malex at my [Tumblr](https://bellakitse.tumblr.com/)


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